Rudeness and Roundness

Things that bug me:  when people ask when I’m due. The expectation is that I’m going to say, “tomorrow.” I know this by the look on their faces when I say, “December.”

Yesterday, a woman at the bus stop (who usually ignores me–which I’m totally fine with) decides to break the ice and asks when I’m due. I take a deep breath–knowing what’s coming–and say, “December 18th.” Usually, I get the uncomfortable smile when the other person doesn’t hear what they think the appropriate answer should be. Not this time. Wouldn’t you know her next questions was “One?” I smile, knowing what’s going through her mind and I said, “yes, I’m having just one.” Did she seriously just imply I’m having twins? This would be a good time to end the conversation, I think, but she felt the need to add, “it’s just, you’re so big, you look like you’re due soon.” My rebuttal, “this is my fourth.” Now, this is usually a great excuse, and anyone with one or two children will accept this as a reasonable. Since this lady only greets one child from the bus, I assume she just doesn’t understand what it’s like to be a baby factory. But, then she responds, “Oh, I have four, too.”  She even said it in such a way which made me feel like she was discrediting me. As if I’m making up stories, when, in reality, I’m either due next week, or I’m carrying a circus car’s worth of clowns.

I love honesty–I do!–but that type of honesty is best kept between friends, not people you usually don’t speak to. Unfortunately, the Nosy Parker continued to grill me on my unusually huge belly, asking if I usually have large newborns, and trying to make me feel better by telling me “well, it’s all baby.” What she really meant, of course, is: “you’re not fat, but there is definitely something wrong with you.” I accepted her kind observation with grace and, to make her feel better for being tactless, I told her, “this is nothing–you should see me when I’m actually near my due date. I’m a freak of nature.” While she pondered that, I picked up my phone and gave the universal sign for “I’m finished talking with you,” and proceeded to check out Facebook.

It’s true, though, at this point I’m pretty big. I look full term. I’m not, though, nor am I fat. I just carry my babies all in the front. Want to see something crazy? This is me the day I went in to be induced during my last pregnancy:

It just ain't normal!
It just ain’t normal!

At that point, people stopped asking questions and, instead, did double-takes. Sigh. That’s still a little less than three months away! (I am, in no way, that big now!!!)


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